“Megara. My friends call me Meg. At least they would, if I had any friends.”
This is a story of injustice towards a strong female lead. You know who I’m talking about. The spunky, confident, and jaded. Potentially, she could be your first cartoon sexual confusion crush, at least I know she was for me (her and that weird fairy from Legend of “Zelda: Ocarina of Time“). That’s right. I’m talking about Megara, better known as Meg from the Disney classic “Hercules.” Megara was always that confidence wielding bad girl working with Hades, a Satan stand-in, to bring down the triumphant Hercules with the power of seduction. She’s a self-proclaimed strong female, who ties her own sandals and everything. She’s that heartbreaker who sneaks out at 3 in the morning. Leaving you alone wishing that you had never placed eyes on that rebellious beauty.
One might be asking, “Why isn’t Meg already a Disney princess?” Dis-Nerds might say that it’s because she doesn’t have a “throne.” To that, I say SHUT UP NERDS…neither does Mulan! Look at this picture from the upcoming “Ralph Breaks the Internet: Wreck-It-Ralph 2!!!!!”
WHERE IS SHE!?!?!? “Frozen” got 2! This isn’t about thrones or crowns. This is about a non-gender role conforming powerful working-class woman being held down by the Mouse. The only working-class princess out there right now is Tiana from “Princess and the Frog.” It is time to accept the middle class into the pantheon of Disney Princesses. It’s time for us to fight the power putting Meg where she belongs. The place she has taken in all of our hearts As a tried and true Disney princess. Below are the top 5 reasons that 2018, 21 years after the movie’s release, is the time to call for Meg’s acceptance into the tower of Disney Princesses.
1. “I’m a damsel. I’m in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day.”
We all know the scene. A woman is in the grasp of a creep and a monster. Along comes the white knight to save the day. This is what Meg sees when Hercules attempts to save her from the river guardian. Little did we know, our little badass is working for “the devil” metal guitar riff Hades! This is when Meg decides to be Meg. Cooly, confidently and with a bit of swagger, she looks over at Hercules and tells him to take a hike. My heart is melting just re-watching the scene. Oh, to someday find my Megara.
2. “He comes on with his big innocent farm boy routine but I can see through that in a Peloponnesian minute.”
Meg’s quick, cynical wit comes out after she talks to Hades about Hercules foiling their plan to get the river guardian to join them. That girl thinks she’s the queen of the neighborhood. Well, I got news for you. SHE IS! Meg’s the cynical rebel princess that we need to represent women in 2018.
3. “Well, you know how men are? You think no means yes and get lost means take me I’m yours.”
Meg was advocating for the #MeToo movement before it was a thing. Addressing unwanted sexual advances by aggressive men, centaurs, and whatever Danny DeVito’s character is supposed to be, she fights back. Meg brings attention to the fact that men refuse to take no as no. Let’s have Disney reinvigorate the #MeToo movement and focus on an awesome princess fighting back a couple millennia earlier.
4. “No weakness whatsoever. No trick knee. No ruptured…disks”
Come on, let’s just admit it. Meg is the most sexually aware Disney character out there. Meg knew how to work her feminine powers. The scene where she is attempting to seduce Hercules to telling her his secrets. She slips closer to him, as the shoulder of her toga slips off her shoulder. She whispers into his ear “No ruptured disks.” No, YOU’RE THE PERVERT. She’s a proud sexually aware woman and we should be celebrating that!
5. “I Won’t Say I’m in Love”
Her beautiful, sullen yet relatable ballad “I Won’t Say I’m in Love“ is still a smash hit today. Opening with “If there’s a prize for rotten judgment. I guess I’ve already won that. No man is worth the aggravation. Been there done that.” In this era of the #MeToo and women empowerment what better time to escalate our empowered, bad girl Megera to her rightful place among the other Disney princesses.
So, I kindly to sign the petition attached below and get Meg into the Parthenon of Disney princess. Disney needs some an edgy, cynical, rebellious, sexually aware badasses in their ranks. It’s time to move the needle towards the future. It’s time to ignore her unrealistic waistline, progress is slow but happening, and get Meg next to all the other upper-class beauties and fight for the sassy Megara to be part of their ranks.